It always is; I run a VA business. But right now there’s a new wave, The Claude Wave.

And look, Claude’s brilliant. I’m AI curious, you should be too, especially if you’re a woman and/or an Assistant.

Partly because it’s coming whether we like it or not. Mostly because understanding it is exactly how we prove why we’re still irreplaceable.

But that’s a conversation for another day.

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Because something happened last week that stopped me mid-scroll. A tech company called Narwhal Labs put up a billboard at Bristol Airport. It advertised a female AI employee, blonde, of course 🙄 who outworks everyone and will never ask for a pay rise. The ad was called a “masterclass in encoded sexism” by an LSE researcher and was pulled after an outcry.

For context: they also ran a male version. His headline? “He’ll find them, call them, and follow up. While you sleep.”

She never asks for a raise. He closes deals at night.

Same company. Same campaign. Everything you need to know, right there.

As Assistants, a profession that is over 97% female globally, this hits different. Because it’s not just a bad advert, it makes plain the assumptions that have followed our industry for decades: be perfect, be invisible, be grateful, and absolutely never ask for a raise.

Points of Business:

Then my inbox reminded me, it’s just billboards and AI.

Not too long ago, a client emailed me after a Damascus moment.

“I know exactly what I want now.”

Wonderful, I thought.

“Louise. From St Louis. Sex and the City.”

You can imagine my expression.

It’s like working with a matchmaker and asking for Big or Aiden. They’d look you in the eyes and say, he’s not real. Same. And just like (that) most of Carrie’s - a relationship doomed from the start.

If your entire reference point for what an Assistant is and does comes from fiction, you’re not looking for a person. You’re looking for a fantasy. And fantasies rarely work in real life. They certainly won’t do the real work you want them to.

So. Here is our reality check. A reminder of what the world thinks an Assistant is, and what we actually are.

1. They’re perfect

Louise never dropped a ball. Never misread a brief. Never needed context, clarity, or god forbid, a second attempt at something. She swooped in, solved everything, and made it look effortless.

Here’s what fiction leaves out: the work you have to do to make that possible. The trust that has to be built. Systems, handovers, “here’s how my brain works” conversations. A great VA isn’t a magician, although it might feel like it. They’re a brilliant hire. And brilliant hires need onboarding, not a handbag. Maybe both.

My answer: Upskill yourself constantly.

2. They’re subservient

Yes, of course. Right away. Whatever you say.

We’ve all watched Mad Men (if you haven’t yet, hard recommend!) We’ve seen the women behind the desks, waiting, nodding, filing. Joan, running the entire office like a boss, is the exception, but her storyline isn’t exactly a shining endorsement of Assistants in general.

The stereotype sticks. Which means some clients still expect someone who will simply receive instructions rather than someone who actually takes initiative, challenges, manages up, and makes a business better for being in it.

My answer: Communicate what you’re doing. More is better.

3. They don’t make mistakes

Back to Louise. Fictional PAs exist in a world without missed emails, miscalculated timelines, or the occasional “I completely misread what you needed there.” Unfortunately, we don’t.

Real Assistants make mistakes, own them, fix them, and build better processes so it doesn’t happen again. That’s not a flaw, that’s a human, and one that is willing to learn. If a client is looking for someone who never drops a ball, they’ll never be satisfied.

My answer: Demonstrate your value.

4. The boss is always a man

Let’s just say it.

The dominant cultural image of a PA relationship is a Girl Friday. A capable go-to woman smoothing the way for a man who gets the credit. He has the vision, she makes sure it happens.

This isn’t just a Hollywood problem. It shows up in how some clients talk to their VAs. In whose rates get queried and who gets asked to do the little out-of-scope things because she’s so good at her job, she can squeeze them in without batting an eyelid.

And it almost comes hand in hand with the assumption, conscious or not, that the Assistant is not on the client’s level, rather than an expert in their own field.

My answer: Network, network, network

5. It’s basically just fetching coffee and booking meetings

Let’s consider Andy Sachs.

But what do we actually see Andy do in The Devil Wears Prada? Run across New York for Starbucks. Get screamed at. Source an unpublished Harry Potter manuscript overnight.

Andy is doing things most people couldn’t do under that pressure, with those resources, in that timeframe and in those heels. She’s negotiating, problem solving, managing relationships, and essentially running an empire’s logistics. But the coffee is cold.

VAs are doing versions of that every single day. Sadly without Chanel but with more emails. The work is strategic, skilled, and often invisible. And that means someone very good is working very hard so you don’t see the joins.

My answer: Embrace what makes you, you. It’s a deeply personal role, shape it, own it.

The client who wanted Louise? She wasn’t ready because she hadn’t done the work yet. She didn’t know what she actually needed, couldn’t articulate how she worked, and had outsourced her thinking to Carrie Bradshaw.

The right Assistant relationship asks something of our clients too. Clear communication. Trust. The willingness to be a little bit known by someone. Less dramatic, but more impactful.

Next month, I’ll be back with part two: some more on my answers to these perception issues, how to set yourself apart and how to make yourself and your work visible.

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This newsletter is brought to you in collaboration with Lucy Legal and her Get Legit Hub. Don’t trust ChatGPT for legal advice! Go to www.lucylegal.co.uk/the-hub for real legal guidance, templates and support.

Lucy and I are partnering on a six episode miniseries of the Bump to Business Owner podcast - talking about motherhood, preparing your business for maternity leave, financial independence for women and how motherhood impacts all your relationships. Our first episode Mum Guilt, Leveraging Audiences and Making £23k in 48hrs is out now.

Actions:

• TONIGHT: London VA Network, IRL meetup, last minute tickets here

• 29th April: Strategic PA Network x Amanda Johnson, London VA Co-working day, book here

Make sure you’re subscribed to receive our full monthly digest - more awards to enter, networking and coworking events to attend, and opportunities to upskill.

Next Steps:

• If you’re not already following Lucy Brazier and everything she does, you should be. She’s a great example of how to articulate what you do and the value you bring.

Questions/Comments:

What are your thoughts on the perception of the Assistant industry? Is this something you come up against? Do you feel limited by it, or impassioned, let’s chat in the comments.

Leave a comment

Suggested Reading:

If you’re new around here, I’ll link to some of my previous posts that are relevant to this one. They might be helpful.

• Your Gold Standard Onboarding Process - especially for agencies, but helpful for all

• Normalising the F*ck Up - don’t be afraid of making mistakes, it’s the best way to learn

• Is AI Coming for Your Job? - Ways to play, ways to upskill

• Networking For People Who Would Rather Stay Home - why you need to network, and how to make it bearable

F*ck up of the month:

Personal one for me, but a good example of hubris.

I’m writing this after an MRI. Apparently if you haven’t been skiing in 9 years you should spend a little more time warming up on the easier slopes.

An injury on the second run didn’t stop me, which means I am now limping - thankfully nothing a steroid shot can’t fix!

A lesson for us all - it’s ok to take it slow sometimes 😂

AOB:

An apology. I said I wanted to bring you my shiny new look Substack and paid tiers this month, and I just haven’t had the time or brain space. It is coming, I promise. Hopefully next month 🤞🏼 Please keep me accountable and ask for topics you’d like me to cover.

AND! I have a discount code to share for the Wellnergy Festival 12-13th June: Use the code Caroline5 for £5 off day tickets and £10 off 2-day tickets!

Speak soon,
Caroline x

P.S. Share this email with anyone in the Assistant community (or any industry!) who might find it useful.

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As I’ve been mentioning for a while, we are growing this Substack space.

I wanted to share with you what that will look like. But let’s start with honesty.

This month has been painful.

As a founder and seasoned VA of 15 years supporting growth clients, I know this = normal.

But in the thick of it. It didn’t feel normal. At all. It felt rough.

Being a founder can be very isolating.

And I want space to honestly share my experience building in public: sometimes it’s amazing, sometimes it’s really hard

I’m sharing, not just a female founder, but as a former Assistant navigating the much newer industry and market that is the VA world. More below.

Caroline x

Points of Business: Building in public

I am very passionate about the VA / Assistant world; I’m also passionate about female founders.

Being a female founder in a 98% female space? Well, that’s exciting.

But.

We know enough about the patriarchy to know that just because it’s a women-dominated space doesn’t make it an ‘easy’ one to build in.

But what I do know, we are stronger when we build together. So I want to create a space that’s both fit for agency builders, VA builders and service providers. And this is how I plan to do it:

1. The ‘How-To’ Unlock: I share the What and Why with everyone, but the new paid tier unlocks the actual How. That means the specific workflows, tech tips, AI prompts, and SOPs I’m using to scale UpSource.

2. Private Voice Notes: Short, unedited audio clips recorded from the school gates or my car. The raw, unfiltered reality of navigating high-level ambition alongside motherhood - the rationale behind the business and life decisions I’m taking.

3. Weekly AMA Submissions: Everyone can read the answers, but only paid subscribers can submit the questions. Your direct line for my Gold Standard takes on your specific business or career bottlenecks.

4. Founder Build Insights: A look at the internal mechanics of leading a team of 40. I’m sharing the actual standards, numbers, and pivots we’re making as we build one of the UK’s largest agencies.

5. The Community Chat: A dedicated space for genuine connection with other industry geeks who are moving beyond the title and want to talk shop without the gatekeeping.

6. Founding Member Perks: Full access to my resource archive and first-look opportunities for 1:1 strategy sessions for the higher paid tiers.

All this and more for paid subscribers! If you want to stay on the free level, wonderful. You’ll continue receiving the monthly essay and digest and a new monthly interview with Assistants who are redefining the industry.

In the spirit of honesty, I had intended to launch this in March, then it was April, and now… probably, hopefully May. It’s a big commitment, but I want to make this new chapter as insightful and genuinely useful as possible.

What’s your take? I want to hear your thoughts on paid tiers, what you’re looking for from me and the challenges you’re facing in your business. Let’s chat in the comments.

Leave a comment

Actions:

• 30th April: UK VA Awards 2026 applications close. Get the application pack here

Make sure you’re subscribed to receive our full monthly digest - more awards to enter, networking and coworking events to attend, and opportunities to upskill.

And if you need a hype-woman, here’s why you should be nominating yourself for awards this season.

Subscribe now

Next Steps:

• There has never been a better time to be an Assistant in my opinion: Why the industry is at a turning point (and how we can make the most of it).

• If you’re building in public too and you want more of a platform to talk about it, here are some tips to pitch yourself as a podcast guest, from my experience of hosting a podcast for 100+ episodes.

Questions/Comments:

Anyone else blaming the moon for the tough times this month? Just me? Tell me: how has your month been? What are you working on at the moment? Does any of this hit home for you?

Leave a comment

F*ck up of the month:

Not so much a specific incident, but this month has been so rocky that at the time of writing, with still a whole week of March to go, I am spent. I am completely out of headspace, so I expect f*ck ups will be coming in thick and fast. Tune in next month for a bumper edition 🫠

Speak soon,
Caroline x

P.S. Share this email with anyone in the Assistant community (or any industry!) who might find it useful.

How have you found the year? For me, it’s whirled by and brought A Lot of learnings but the constant?

I am so grateful to just keep going, keep building a business and be self employed, however hard it gets. And trust me, it REALLY does sometimes.

If 2025 has been a year of job loss for you, or a loved one, keep reading; I’m reflecting on what got me through.

Points of Business: What I learnt after being made redundant

Give yourself a minute

If it’s a shock, take a breath. Physically and for a hot minute after. I remember calling my husband in shock saying, “should I go back, should I ask why?”

My brain wasn’t clear. My husband was away and I had nursery pick up to do. So like any mum, I got it done.

Then, I ordered myself a Mcdonald’s (yes, really), spoke to the people closest to me from my team whom I felt needed to know (yes the bosses really wanted me to disappear without telling my team and colleagues who I spoke to every day) and had a glass of prosecco.

I booked a spa day, bought Dr Tara Swartz’ book, a new notebook (it said ‘Employee of the Fucking Year’ which made me laugh) and wrote down anything I might want now. Yes, entrepreneurship was in there, the VA world was a firm No.

That time gave me more permission than I had in years,despite having a baby that year, to step away from my laptop, grieve, and remember who I was. And that was not the person they made me feel.

But get down to business

Depending on your type of loss, you may have work to do. My redundancy Was Not Fair.

I was too tired, too down-trodden to take it to court (I could have) but boy, they weren’t going to get away with their ‘Statutory offer’

• I gathered evidence

• Got advice (thank you to my friends who could run the world)

• Assembled my ‘support team’

• And knew exactly what I would ask for and how

Find your strength

It’s a tough situation, and everyone finds their strength in different ways. If you need to summon your strength, work out what works for you.

For me, if I look good, I feel good. I found a blue dress. (yes the woman involved making me redundant felt it was appropriate to comment on it - but I wore it and felt good)

I knew how to redress the power dynamic. They ‘suggested’ my second redundancy meeting was online, I told them it would be in person. I arrived early and listened to calming music. I stopped hiding behind my laptop and had my notes on paper. I knew I could show them they would regret treating me like this.

This wouldn’t be my standard reaction. But taking that spa day and pulling together the facts of their behaviour, woke me up to how awfully I had been treated in the lead up to this. And I wasn’t going to let that happen anymore.

Don’t pressure your next job to be the RIGHT job

Well-meaning people are going to tell you, ‘take your time, don’t rush into a job.’

All due respect; they have no idea about your mortgage or childcare costs, or your carefully crafted kids’ routine. Not rushing into a job might not be an option.

I took a few months off, and went into a job that was fine. It wasn’t right, but I had NO IDEA really what I should or could do, and I was broken. By motherhood, by work. How could I walk into a dream job and smash it?

I don’t think I could have, as much as I wanted to.

Grieve

It will take time. I have seen PLENTY a well known female entrepreneur say on LinkedIn “I gave myself 24 hours to grieve, then moved on”

Well that’s great, lovely, but the world and nervous system doesn’t work like that.

Take it from someone who tried to just move on their whole adult life until I almost lost my second child and learnt how much I stored away by not dealing with it head on.

I talked to others like me, I learnt I’m not alone. I took on what I needed to learn from the experience, of course, but I realised it wasn’t my fault. I learnt that I would be taking a lot of trust issues into my next job from what I went through there.

I learnt I would do the work, but I also needed time.

If you’re going through it, if you went through it this year, I’m sorry. I know how hard it is to find your confidence again and move on. Share your experiences with me in the comments, have you got some learnings that might help others?

Leave a comment

Actions:

It’s Christmas, there are none! Rest and enjoy yourself. We’ll be back in the new year with a digest of all the best events, trainings and resources for January, and beyond!

Next Steps:

• I spoke to Rhiannon Palmer about my experience of job loss on the Lemonade Leaders podcast, listen in for more juicy details

• Fuck Being Humble did a wonderful campaign last year for those of us who have been affected by job loss - Their Loss. I really recommend giving Stef a follow, I’m a fan of everything she does.

• Some truths I’ve learnt after redundancy

Questions/Comments:

Another year of The Agenda! If you have something you want to discuss, you’d like to be featured, or want to connect with our community via sponsoring an issue, get in touch

Suggested Reading/Listens:

• A reminder - Who cares about New Year’s Resolutions?! We’re under enough pressure as it is

• If it’s all getting a bit much, listen to this meditation created especially for the craziness of the Christmas season by Jo Woodhurst, Head of Nutrition at Ancient + Brave

F*ck up of the month:

I have made a few mistakes this month. Including sending a message to a group chat when it was intended for only one of them 🤦‍♀️ Another great one: I thought I had booked a cake we needed to pick up Saturday for my son’s birthday party, only to discover no trace of this cake anywhere. Clearly never actually bought it, so off to Tesco we went.

AOB:

Thank you for being here and being part of this community. My passion for the Assistant industry really reignited last year, in no small part thanks to the people in it. Committing to this newsletter for over a year has given me so much, so thank you! And please, if there’s anything you want to talk about, get in touch and let me know.

Speak soon,
Caroline x

P.S. Share this email with anyone in the Assistant community (or any industry!) who might find it useful.

.

I am a huge fan of Emmie Faust and she makes a point of talking about how slow and intentional she has been with her community Female Founders Rise from the start. And while I can’t say the same of Upsource, my agency, growing from a solo founder on mat leave, to where we are now, I wouldn’t describe as slow or small for me.

This newsletter, however, has been a test. Will people read? Sign up? Most importantly, will I commit to writing it each month? The good news is yes to all.

So I am planting the seed for growth now, and will be trying and testing a bit more on this corner of Substack - Assistants, agency builders, Founder-lifers - what would you like to hear more of?

I found myself here when my passion reignited for the industry, a passion that had dwindled. Which leads me onto my next question: is too much passion a bad thing?

I think so. Controversial? Maybe. But I have lived various lives with my identity being tied to my job, role, career, potential. I speak from experience: it is freeing to no longer use my career as my identity, and I really credit the success of Upsource so far to being able to step away.

More below. Let me know in the comments, can you relate?

Leave a comment

Points of Business: Why too much passion might be an error

@gorillatime00 @gorillatime00 ♬ original sound - MORE ENERGY 😎

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This may seem an odd topic, but bear with.

You are here likely, because you are passionate - whether it’s about the Assistant world, VA world, building a business, an agency. But I like to think people who read stuff like this, like me and you, are looking to learn.

I have worked with founders and people building businesses for almost 10 years, and I have seen first hand how too much passion can lead to blinkered thinking. It’s too much, it’s all consuming. But podcasts like The Diary of a CEO will tell you that is how it should be.

I am a mother and Founder,one that is passionate and growth focused, and my career has taught me: I am a lot happier since my passion has calmed down and I got some perspective!

Here’s why:

1. It can lead to exploitation and burnout

Yes. Yes and yes again.

Can you relate to both? I know I do.

When you’re deeply passionate about your work, it’s easy to lose track of your limits. I was so passionate about what we were building at a certain former VA agency, mixed with pre-baby drive and fear for my career. And it was exploited. I know my story isn’t unique.

Burnout? We talk about it constantly, but here’s what I’ve learned: that passion quickly turns into obsession when you haven’t committed to the essential other areas of life that keep you balanced. Remember your boundaries. Remember that life is meant to be lived, not hyper-focused on one thing. (With the proviso that hyperfocus can be a neurodivergent super power, you do you).

2. It fosters overconfidence

This one’s hard to admit, but when I’ve been good at my job in the past, let’s say it frustrated me when others weren’t operating at the same level?

Head hung in shame. (But hey, life is for learning, right?)

We don’t often talk about overconfidence, especially in female leadership circles. But I can probably name some leaders who are so focused on their own build that they don’t look around, or dare I say, connect and go on the journey with their competitors.

My antidote to this? Reach out to a “competitor” with a problem. You’ll soon find you’re both humbly struggling with the same things.

3. It can create toxic leadership

My piece of advice for founders, having worked with them for almost 10 years?

Don’t confuse your passion with obsession, and don’t expect your team to adopt your level of passion; they’re not robots. And that’s a GOOD thing.

“Toxic leadership” is a harsh phrase, but so many of us have experienced it firsthand.

4. It may limit your career (and business!) growth

Once upon a time, I wanted to be a singer. I became completely obsessed with that path.

What have I learned since?

It was really because I thought it was the only thing I “could do” or was “good at.” I was closed off to so many experiences and learnings until I opened up to the possibility that maybe singing wasn’t my “only thing.”

Cue my start in the Assistant world.

The lesson? Cultivate a “growth mindset.” Instead of viewing passion as a singular, fixed trait, reframe it as what executive coach, Alex Lazarus calls “a bouquet of roles, opportunities and skills” that can be nurtured over time.

My business, my health and my wellbeing have all benefitted after dialling down the workaholism passion (and let’s be honest, having kids and other priorities). It’s given me the space to pursue other passion projects: the podcast, this newsletter, my joy-journey, all things that bring me great delight, and who would have thought - even more career opportunities.

Where are you on the passion scale for your career? Is this something you’ve noticed in your clients, your network, or yourself? Spill your thoughts in the comments.

Leave a comment

Actions:

• 4th December: Strategic PA Network Clients for Keeps: Building a Sustainable Client Base - a day of coworking with a panel on client dev hosted by me! Register here if you’d like to join us

Make sure you’re subscribed - my full calendar for December comes out next week - lots of opportunities for networking, training and awards!

Next Steps:

• Burnout looming? Listen to this conversation with Dr Clare Ashley, aka The Burnout Doctor for the signs and remedies.

• If you’re an employed Assistant ready to take the leap and start your own business, I’m sharing my How Tos over on Instagram in December, join me over there

• Emmie Faust, founder of Female Founders Rise, is definitely worth a follow if you’re looking to build your community and learn how she’s built hers.

Questions/Comments:

I would love to hear your thoughts on passion - do you have an overabundance? Did kids change your perspective? Are you a out-and-proud workaholic? Share with us in the comments.

Leave a comment

Suggested Reading:

• If you’re getting a bit too caught up in end of year goals and the “final push” a reminder - Who cares about New Year’s Resolutions? December has enough pressure as it is.

F*ck up of the month:

Bit of a classic mistake this month. I went to introduce a client to a designer and forgot to CC the designer in. The client responded beautifully to me, but to me alone.

Been there?

AOB:

How do you manage the Christmas season? Do you have a tried-and-tested process that you follow every year, do you whiteknuckle it through? If you have any tips to share, please send me a message and give me your hot take - I’m going to collate all the best tips into a festive special.

I was kindly gifted some Hot Tea Mama, my name is literally all over it. Special blends for period/breastfeeding/menopause support, a great gift for your Mum friends, or just yourself. The hot choc is 🤌🏼

Speak soon,
Caroline x

P.S. Share this email with your Assistant buddies (or any industry!) who might find it useful.

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If you’re the buddy, you can subscribe here

Why?

Those pesky burnout signs showing again. Credit to my contentwriter Steph here, she saw the signs before I did and wrote a post that I was heading towards burnout. This is why I shout about building excellent team relationships, they know you and show you the mirror 😂

But seriously, sometimes you have to take a long hard look at life. I fell into a trap this year. While I Had A Lot On, it hasn’t been anything like those early baby years, Covid and trauma healing and lifting Upsource off the ground.

But. A family bereavement, intense business programme, two kids six and under, my rock since the start, Soo, going on maternity leave (Obvs delighted for but meant a lot of change) then straight into school holidays. I can admit now, it was a lot.

And it meant that my ambition was almost zero. I began to think that all my plans for growth might not be the right fit for me anymore. Coasting was tempting. It was fine.

My husband left me alone for 5 days with the kids just as school started(I know right !) I realised I had to force myself to rest at the end of the weekend, kids happily building a den with a Harry Potter film. I could actually hear my body say, ‘This is what you need.’

I decided to cancel Ideas Fest (FOMO!), focus on me this week, and go to bed at 9pm

And you know what? I'm a different person now. Getting through long overdue tasks (including writing this), energised to go back to networking and business events next week and the energy to get back to my barre classes. The things that usually light me up.

Oh and also? Hello ambition, she’s back. All systems go. But I’d love to know about yours.

Are you ambitious but scared to say it? I’ve been there, I’ve definitely felt judged for my ambition in the past. Here are the signs to look out for👇🏽

Points of Business: 5 signs you’re being judged for your ambition

You feel you have to justify it

Ever been there? I have. A lot.

‘Oh, I've realised this is just how my brain is wired’, ‘I can see the change my industry needs and I can help’ , ‘I have seen how important it is for women to have financial independence and I will never let that go for myself’.

The truth is women shouldn't have to justify ambition. This is me, I'm ambitious, and that’s more than ok.

You play small

Small is safe right? Ambition is scary, there can be so much more at stake for women

Maybe you’re reading this and can’t relate at all (great!). Or maybe small is right for you now and what you need. But if you are playing it safe, I encourage you to reflect on it and whether it’s for the right reasons

You judge yourself

Ouch. Been there. We can be hard on ourselves right?

It’s one thing for other people to judge us, as Mel Robbins might say, Let Them, but you know there’s work to be done when you’re judging yourself.This is far worse, going with Mel Robbins and let them its one thing for others to judge you, but you know there is work when you judge myself

I went back to work when my first was eight weeks old, threw myself into it to prove that I was still career focused, and was made redundant not long after. I spent YEARS judging those choices. It took a lot of therapy and learning to understand I was doing my best and the reasons behind all my decisions.

You don’t feel comfortable opening up in rooms where you should

This is hard for me, as someone who wants to be liked (who doesn’t), but especially when I was at my least confident. Supportive rooms matter.

I'll never forget being brave enough to say, ‘I want more money’ in a room of fellow industry professionals to see one visibly roll their eyes at me. Our male counterparts never have to give a reason for wanting more cash.

The truth is - their judgment? It’s their issue. I see that clear as day now. They’re no bad people, but they have their own money / ambition issues to resolve. I knew what I wanted, I just needed confidence.

People are waiting for the ‘real world’ to catch up with you

“Wait till you become a mum”, “is this your first child…”

I’ve talked about how ruthlessly ambitious I was (for the wrong reasons) when I was at an employed VA agency. When the company culture became toxic, I could see people were openly waiting for me to be a mum and care less.

“Is this your first child?” seems innocent right? Someone said this to me right after I won UK Best newcomer VA 2020, implying I’d soon find out how little time there would be for my business.

Any of those feel familiar? I’d love to hear how you navigate owning your ambition, is it even a question for you? Share your thoughts in the comments

Leave a comment

Actions:

• 25th September: I’ve got a special 4 part miniseries coming out on my podcast especially for Assistants. I’m covering the basics of business building, along with my predictions for the future of the industry. Each episode comes with a free downloadable resource or very special invitation, exclusively for The Agenda readers. The first episode comes out this Thursday, make sure you’re subscribed!

• 2nd October: East Midlands PA Awards, tickets here

My full calendar for October comes out next week - lots of opportunities for networking, training and awards!

Next Steps:

• Equality and ambition for mums - my conversation with Jelena Skene, co-founder of PressFlow

• Is internalised misogyny making you judge yourself? Nicky Denson Elliot is great on this

• Fearne Cotton on Grace Beverley’s podcast - women shouldn’t have to explain away our ambition

• Celebrating business milestones on Mother+ - acknowledge you much you’ve achieved and how hard you work

Questions/Comments:

How has September been for you? Have you been caught up in that universal Autumn ‘Back to School’ vibe or still catching your breath? I always want to hear from you, reply to this email or send me a message.

Suggested Reading:

• Slay in Your Lane shares stories of successful women of colour, very inspiring and engaging

F*ck up of the month:

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me.

I'll hand it to Mary this month. I told her something was taking so much of my brain space - I couldn't face one of my inboxes.

'I think you might need some help'

The VA agency owner needed a VA to tell her to stop trying to do it all.

Mic drop Mary 🎤

(And thank you Charlotte for taking over said task!)

I should have been taking my own advice on Inbox Zero (listen in on Thursday)

AOB:

My focus and energy were, unsurprisingly, all over the place over the summer holidays, and I still feel a bit like I’m catching up. I’m trying to be really honest with myself, asking ‘do I have capacity for this?’ for even the smallest things. I highly recommend it.

Thank goodness, I got a new Dirtea delivery - the Focus pack. Fingers crossed! They have very kindly shared with me a 10% discount code if you’d like to try it, I am very much a matcha convert. Code is BUMPTOBUSINESSOWNER

Speak soon,
Caroline x

P.S. Share this email with anyone in the Assistant community (or any industry!) who might find it useful.

Caroline x

Points of Business: Five lessons I’ll never forget

Last month’s post was five (of the many!) things I’ve learnt from 5 years in business.

This month, I’m going to share five (of the many!) things I learnt from taking part in the Goldman Sachs 10k Small Businesses growth programme. I know I’ve talked about it a lot, here, on socials, everywhere. But I can honestly say that it was the best and most profound business/career experience of my life. I am still processing it, and it will shape the next few years of my business, and probably life! 

So, want to know what it’s really like?

1. It was a big old confidence boost…but not in the way you think

I was one of the ‘smallest’ businesses there and I knew that from the start.

Intimidating? Actually, no! I thrived off just being able to be there and learn. But 10/15 years ago? Heck even 5 years ago…

It would have been a very different story. 

Why? I haven’t been shy to talk about the crippling anxiety and imposter syndrome I suffered with in my former singing career. I was excellent at masking in some situations, but I had zero confidence.

This time though, I have done the work personally and professionally and I can appreciate how far I have come as a solo founder; juggling Covid, maternity and the early years!

So let's just say I was proud to be there and proud I didn’t slip in old habits. (OK I had a bit of a wobble towards the presentation but I’m human aren’t I!)

2. It nearly burnt me out 

I knew it would be a lot of work, they had told us that - but I don’t think they can quite prepare you for HOW much. Frankly I am not sure how I managed it, and I’m still catching up nearly 3 months later.

In the final weeks, I wasn’t alone in feeling like I should just take off my Oura ring. (Are you even a founder if you don’t have an Oura ring? 😅) All it had to tell me was how stressed I was. All The Time. On the day of my final presentation apparently I was stressed for 9 hours. 

It’s not just about the time and the stress of doing the thing. It’s about the recovery time afterwards. You can’t work like that and just snap back ‘to normal’. May and June were basically recovery, especially when you consider end of term commitments. So this programme has been a huge part of my life for more like 6 months.

3. Your network is invaluable

OK, we already knew this - but as a people business especially. It really is about relationship building and who you know.

So if you’re still struggling with that, this is your sign - get out there and start building that network! 

I wrote a whole post on networking and why you should try it, even if you hate it. Check it out below.

4. I definitely still have some demons to work through!

As part of the programme we had to do a seven minute presentation. Seven minutes to communicate your growth plan to the rest of your co-hort and the panel.

As someone who has never “pitched” their business, I did wobble on this.

My ‘first go’ in a safe small group was frankly, awful.

It was my wake up call - I got someone on the Upsource team to help, and we turned it around.

I was very proud of myself for doing well on the day (Thanks to the performer life again, I can make a comeback well 😂) but I still think there is work I can do on speaking and communicating what I do.  I’m excited to grow there - let me know in the comments if you have any tips on this, I need advice!

Leave a comment

5. You are never alone

This is the most valuable thing in this post, and the most valuable thing I learnt from the programme.

The pains you’re feeling in your business / career? Whether you’re solo or part of a huge team: you’re never alone. Finding others like you, that get it, will be the best time investment you can make.

The whole reason I started a podcast was my craving to find other mums and business owners like me. And because I spent my younger years holding everything in, not sharing how I was feeling, not realising we are all in this together. 

We are all in this together. If you haven’t found your people yet, send me a message, I am your people!

Actions:

• 25-29th August: Made in the Margins free online event, register here

• 18th September: Strategic PA Network - Conquering Your Virtual Assistant Challenges: Share, Learn and Grow. Register here

A full email with all the events, opportunities and awards coming up will be going out next week, email me if you want to shout about your event and make sure you’re subscribed so you don’t miss out.

Next Steps:

• Rachel Carrell is the founder and CEO of London based childcare solution Koru Kids, and gives great LinkedIn. Listen to my conversation with her about her ‘world changing business model’ here

Questions/Comments:

I’ve got a few topics for newsletters in mind coming up, let me know what you want to read next, or please suggest something if it’s not on the list!

Suggested Reading:

• Channelling Back 2 Skool vibes on Upsource’s IG account - September is going to be productivity month, keep your eyes peeled for some of our favourite tips and tools. Or take a look at our blog for tons of resources.

F*ck up of the month:

Something a little different this month.

My 6 year old has been in theatre camp (still trying to discover his 'thing') and discovered a 'performance' on the Friday. He decided he didn't want to take part.

Cue stage mum explaining nerves etc. 

He said 'what if I made a mistake?'

I told him that it doesn't matter, and it doesn't matter as we all make mistakes. Mummy believes so much in life’s mistakes she shares with hundreds of people on a letter ALL the mistakes she makes.

Of course he wanted to see and I very quickly had to hide the word F***. I forgot that's what we call this section 😂 Mum of the year place very quickly almost slid to the bottom.

It worked and he was happy to embrace his nerves and do the show. If I can convince a six year old that mistakes don't matter on stage, I hope we can all start to feel more comfortable with ours.

 Got a f**k up you’re happy to share? Let me know in the comments (it’s cathartic - promise!)

Leave a comment

AOB:

Let me know how you’ve been managing the work/life “balance” either from a business owner, or parent’s perspective.

Speak soon, Caroline x

P.S. Share this email with anyone in the Assistant community (or any industry!) you think might find it useful.

Thanks for reading The Agenda! Subscribe for free to receive more Assistant news, and updates about unmissable industry events.

P.P.S. A little message from some friends of ours

The JJ Club is a family members club making a meaningful difference to families across SW London. Ahead of the physical site opening in Balham next year, the digital club offers connections across the community, discounts on favourite brands, access to curated local events and a money can't buy directory of trusted experts.

Exclusive discounts range from 10 - 50% off much loved brands and as a partner, we have been given an exciting summer offer for you to enjoy - an annual digital membership for £120 instead of £160: use code JJXSUMMER. 

Points of Business: Who cares about new year’s resolutions?

I have never been one for resolutions - my husband mentions dry January and I roll my eyes. Good for you if you’re doing it, but it just isn’t me🥂

I think I have just always known, that for me, creating a lasting change is not about big grand gestures on an arbitrary calendar date dictating a 'New Year, New You' or your 'Best Year Yet'.

At the same time, January is a month I hold close to my heart. To be really honest, it’s when I changed my life 3 years ago.

A year on from a life changing traumatic event, I had just stopped breastfeeding and the reality of emerging trauma, and navigating lockdown with two kids under three, had hit my nervous system - I wasn't well at all. But I was stuck. 

I needed to work, I needed my business to start paying me. I needed to be there for my kids. Everyone around me thought I was ‘better’, but I was at my worst. And so were the relationships I needed to help get me through it.

Something had to change. One year on from our NICU crash landing, and after our first “normal” (see: “Covid”) Christmas, it was time. And it just so happened to be January.

So the next day, I woke up and started meditating. I did that one thing to help me. I didn't go all in with breath work, cold showers, gratitude, exercise regimes and sleep habits.

I did one thing. And then I learnt more. I listened to podcasts about habit stacking and healing my brain. Then slowly almost a year later I got the professional help I needed.

It's been 3 years of work and it continues to be work.

This consistency has really also been the key  to success in my business. And why consistency is the theme of this New Year Same You email.

How am I consistent in business? (NOTE: consistent, never perfect) 

• Zero inbox

• One To-Do list with everything on it (but I’m not a slave to)

• Showing up on social media (and being realistic about what’s feasible, even with a team - shout out Steph & Rachael!)

• Doing things that scare me 

• Collaborating and working with others - co working days, catch ups with the team

• Asking for feedback

• Keeping on top of the numbers - tracking sales, forecasts etc

• Podcast - consistency finally paid off with our first sponsorship!

While I might not be one for grand resolutions, I’ve learnt the power of small, consistent steps taken over time. So this new year, I invite you to reflect on what small changes you can make, what habits you can really commit to, that will get you where you want to go. Whether that’s in your business, your health, whatever it is that you’re ready to change. If anything at all! 

It’s not New Year New You, it’s just you, showing up for yourself, no pressure, no perfectionism, just small steps. 

Is consistency one of your words for the year? Let me know in the comments how you’re going to bring it in for 2025.

Actions:

• 17th January - School of Ops event

• 24th January - London VA network meetup North & West

• 26-27th February - The spring PA Show. Get your tickets now!

• Get 50% off your first pre/post natal fitness class with MumHood using the code MUMHOOD50 (and listen to my conversation with Frame/MumHood co-founder Pip Black here)

Next Steps:

I might be anti new year’s resolutions but I am very pro vision boards, or ‘action boards’ as Dr Tara Swart calls them. Would anybody be interested in joining me for a virtual accountability session to build our boards?

If you’re interested I’ll get in touch with some options on dates.

Questions/Comments:

I’d love to hear your thoughts: on consistency, the content of this newsletter, what your goals/focus words are for 2025 and how I can help you. Leave some comments and let me know!

Leave a comment

Suggested Reading:

• Read James Clear’s Atomic Habits if you haven’t already to help create habits that you can be consistent with

• How your clients can use Habit Stacking to delegate to you more effectively and consistently

F*ck up of the month:

I called a team member. On a Sunday. While they were on Annual Leave. Over Christmas. 🤦‍♀️ In my defence, she has the same name as my sister!

AOB

A reminder to not get too caught up in the ‘January madness’. If you want to make changes, go for it, but make it manageable. Chances are, you’ve already got a lot on your plate. And have a wonderful 2025!

If you have anything you want to focus on this year in your business, and you need some help, let me know. I want this email to support you.

Leave a comment

Speak soon,
Caroline x

This newsletter was sponsored by Ancient + Brave. If you’d like to try any of their products you can use our discount code BTB20 for 20% off your first order.

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We have been back to business here at Upsource after celebrating some amazing wins. As well as Speaking at the PA show on a Panel with lovely ladies from Strategic PA moderating, all on my favourite…networking. I’m going to talk about my key take aways in another newsletter, but for me, it’s all about authenticity. 

Before we get to our P.O.B, I wanted to be real for a moment and acknowledge that business has been hard for many of us, self employed, employers and clients. There’s been a lot of uncertainty and tight budgets, which may only be getting tighter. But, I think we’re moving into a market that will value freelancers more than ever; where there’s challenge there is also opportunity for us as an industry.

Wherever you’re at with your business and/or career - please know: You are not alone.

We are all doing amazing, doing this, trying this and keeping going. If you need a cheer squad, that is exactly what this community is about.

Caroline x

Points of Business:

One of the first regular pieces of content I knew I wanted to include in this newsletter was F*ck Up of the Month. 

As an ex-performer, I was used to failing publicly. It was par for the course, sometimes embarrassing yes, sometimes slightly devastating, but nothing unusual; the failures always outweighed the wins. For everyone.

In my career as an EA, I brought that openness with me, and struggled when others thought they were something to be avoided, smoothed over quickly, not something to grow from. For themselves and those around them.

It takes a certain amount of confidence to own your mistakes, especially if you’re in an atmosphere that encourages shame. Sometimes I think that Assistants aren’t ‘allowed’ to make mistakes in the same way that other roles and industries are. 

But mistakes happen. All. The. Time. We’re human. And honestly, mistakes are one of the best ways to learn something, quickly and deeply. The point isn’t making them, the point is how we handle mistakes and learn from them.

I put my hands up: I make mistakes almost every day. Some big, some small, some really really silly, sometimes the same ones more than I really should. In my business, my relationships, (not) packing school bags, you name it.

But I try to own them. To recognise them, apologise, and use them as a springboard to do better next time.

I’m happy to discuss in detail the latest sh*t show of my own creation when I’m meeting with my team on a more personal level. But I’m aware that a lot of my wider team don’t see that in their day to day. How can I expect them to come to me with mistakes if they aren’t seeing mine?

Enter, F*ck Up of the Month

To normalise f*ck ups, because they are…normal. If you’re not making mistakes, you’re not trying hard enough, you’re not trying anything new, you’re maybe not learning anything new.

I encourage you to share your f*ck ups too, no matter how small, how embarrassing. This is a safe space: It’s OK, we’ve all been there. You’ll probably find scores of other VAs who have made that exact same mistake. Without sharing you won’t know. 

Let’s learn from one another’s mistakes, what better way is there?

Actions:

• You guessed it: Share your f*ck ups here

• 29th November: Tell your would-be/newbie VA friends! I’ll be sharing a Black Friday discount on Friday with this community for my Your VA Journey: Start Here webinar. All the advice I give to new VAs and new Upsource recruits in one place for a strong career foundation

• 3rd December: If you’re scaling your VA business into an agency and you’re looking for support, I’m speaking as part of a panel hosted by Visionary VA Circle on creating an associate team. More info and tickets here.

• 4th December: Join me and some of the Upsource team for some Christmas co-working and a festive breakfast. Networking, goal sharing, support and collaboration. Book your tickets here. Spaces are very limited, so move quick!

Next Steps:

Strong business foundations are made with strong legal foundations. If you haven’t already, check out Lucy Legal for legal templates for you, and for your start up clients.

Questions/Comments:

Is there a subject you’d like to discuss? How do you feel about sharing mistakes? I’d love to hear more from you, share your thoughts in the comments

Leave a comment

Suggested Reading:

For more on learning from other’s missteps, read eight women’s career mistakes (including one of mine!)

F*ck up of the month:

More often that I’d like, I do admin evenings and weekends. And usually, when I am working ‘out of hours’ I am all about scheduling emails and Slacks. I don’t want my team to think it’s expected of them to pick up comms on the weekends. But, I forgot. I messaged one of the team about client billing on a Sunday. And she saw it. I disrupted her work free weekend, and felt terrible about it. It was not important enough for that. Lesson learnt: check scheduling!

Any (completely anonymous!) mistakes you want to get off your chest? It will make you feel better, I promise!

AOB:

Share this newsletter with your fellow VAs or friends that are looking to change career, and they’ll get the webinar discount code on Friday 29th November. Tell your friends!

Share The Agenda

And, in the name of collaboration I am going to be on Holly Copsey, Founder of Virtually Priceless and The Visionary VA Circle - NEW podcast - watch out for the link soon.

Next month, I’ll be sharing Upsource’s internal processes, maybe the most important one.

Speak soon,
Caroline x