Asking for it...

Feedback and festivities 🎄

I can't lie...I am sat writing this from the sofa, under two blankets with a hot water bottle and Real Housewives in the background (Don't you dare judge me)

That’s the beauty of self employed life right? I definitely think I have earnt it, life has not been like this the rest of the week - I have dropped balls left right and centre in the pre Christmas chaos (Mercury is in retrograde apparently, so it’s not my fault?!)

So here is your reminder! Rest is important. Hustle has its place, but it needs to be supported with rest.

I fully intend to take more breaks, switch off and enjoy some family time over the festive season. Christmas with a 6 and 4 year old means more magic, more excitement and it feels like we can finally really enjoy ourselves after the baby/toddler years/NICU and Covid.

My intention / word of December continues to be, you guessed it, joy. But rest is my priority (I’ll let you know how that goes come January!)

But the theme of this month’s Substack is feedback. It’s important for everyone, but I believe especially for assistants, and remember it goes both ways.

What reaction do you have to ‘feedback’? How does it really make you feel? Challenge yourself here, and let’s get into it.

Points of Business: Asking for it…Feedback

I went to an amazing event recently, for growth business owners who are....mothers! (So on brand for me.)

It was wonderful to see two of my previous podcast guests on the panel and another hosting. Once again, Rachael Carrell was sharing some wisdom that I was totally on board with: 'Ask for feedback, but also make it clear you want it. You need hard honest feedback'.

Hands up, who is TERRIFIED by that?

But do we need it? Yes.

Maybe it's my performance background (Always gotta drop that in 😆) but I am used to feedback, it’s in my culture. Does it mean it’s always comfortable? No. Is it always completely accurate? Of course not.

BUT it should make you think. Reflect on it, question it, and potentially make some changes. 

That is why Upsource has always, since day one, sent an annual anonymous feedback form to the team.

Do I open it with one eye closed? Absolutely I do. But I need it to grow, not only as a business, but as a business owner. 

But let me be clear, not all feedback is equal, nor should it be given equal weight. When I was working for a VA Agency (I won’t name names) in my 4th trimester it was decided that I would be the first person to have an anonymous feedback review on the leadership team. Cue a host of feedback from the managers (none of whom I reported directly to) who were, in hindsight, all struggling with a toxic workplace culture. We all were. Unfortunately I was an easy target for the business as an overwhelmed new mum at that time

I took that to heart, and I shouldn’t have. That has been a huge lesson for me in receiving  feedback. 

But what I have really had to work on is giving feedback. Ouf, that’s tough.

Not everyone is used to receiving feedback, not everyone wants it. But everyone needs it.

If that’s you, if you’re uncomfortable with receiving feedback, I encourage you to ask yourself why. Did you, like me, have a bad experience? Ill timed or badly handled? Or have you always worked in an environment where feedback just isn’t given to assistants? Maybe mistakes and learning curves aren’t supported in the way they should be.

If it’s not the culture, that’s not your fault. But it shouldn’t be the culture. Nobody should ever have to do a job where constructive feedback isn’t given. But sadly, I know, I see, I hear that’s still the norm in some companies.

If like me you struggle to give feedback, or you work with people who do, we have some tips! The wonderful Soo Slade, Community Manager at Upsource, gave us this helpful framework:

A - Action: What happened
I - Impact: The affect
D - Direction: What should happen next time

As an example:

Action: You didn’t respond to my email with travel options for a couple of days
Impact: All the prices and availability have changed, so the tickets you approved are no longer available
Direction: Respond to emails/WhatsApps marked ‘Urgent’ within 24hrs 

It’s also great to ask for, and give your own, preferences for how to receive feedback. Email, phone call, video call, so you can tailor your feedback framework so that everyone is comfortable.

Actions:

• Let me know your feedback! Is there anything in particular you do/n’t like about The Agenda? Is there anything you want me to talk about in future issues? Let me know in the comments. Be honest, I can take it!

• 13 December: The PA Forum is offering a new VA in person co-working in the Midlands! Complete this form by 13th to let them know what you want from the experience if you’re from the area

• 26-27 February 2025: Book your tickets for the PA Show now! I can confirm, I will be speaking, and one my talks is very on brand, you’ll love it.

Next Steps:

It’s that time of year. Whisper it, tax returns. If you’re not already using it, I hard recommend Xero. We use it at Upsource and recommend it to all our clients. 

Questions/Comments:

You know what to do. Leave your feedback in the comments.

Suggested Reading:

Share this article with your clients to encourage them in giving and receiving feedback.

F*ck Up of the Month:

Another cracker from me this month. I messed up paying a team member’s invoice - not once, but twice. 

If you’d like to share your f*ck ups please do! Share them below. I can confirm that it is quite cathartic.

AOB:

A huge thank you for being here and being part of this fledgling community, and shout out to the Upsource team, who have been such a joy to work with, this and every year. 

Have an incredible Christmas, take the rest that you need. Watch the Muppet Christmas Carol, multiple times (just me?) And thank you for being here. We made it! See you in 2025

Please do share The Agenda with your VA community, we are here to help!